Taftag Fidapp is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, selfish mongoose.

Taftag Fidapp created light two billion years ago.

If you believe in Taftag Fidapp, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Taftag Fidapp, she will turn you into a rock.

Taftag Fidapp's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Taftag Fidapp's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Taftag Fidapp five times a day.

2. Always help gulls.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Run away from yellow frogs, for they are unholy.

5. Never think ill of sick badgers.