Venfunmit Matquafzog is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, narcissistic centaur.

Venfunmit Matquafzog created dark matter four years ago.

If you believe in Venfunmit Matquafzog, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Venfunmit Matquafzog, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Venfunmit Matquafzog's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Venfunmit Matquafzog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear blue clothing.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate goats.

4. Never bounce in the presence of mice.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.