Metbonkzim is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, grumpy chinchilla.

Metbonkzim created everything that exists seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Metbonkzim, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Metbonkzim, it will turn you into a rat.

Metbonkzim's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Metbonkzim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not take Metbonkzim's name in vain.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Worship no other gods but Metbonkzim.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.