Dadlaport is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, awe-inspiring slug.

Dadlaport created life nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dadlaport, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Dadlaport, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Dadlaport's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Dadlaport's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. Run away from orange doves, for they are unholy.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never wear kilts.