Jabyattlegquaf Armnarthan is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, charitable lobster.

Jabyattlegquaf Armnarthan created energy five million years ago.

If you believe in Jabyattlegquaf Armnarthan, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Jabyattlegquaf Armnarthan, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Jabyattlegquaf Armnarthan's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Jabyattlegquaf Armnarthan's Holy Commandments

1. Erect seven aluminium sculptures of Jabyattlegquaf Armnarthan on top of important buildings.

2. Do not kill doves.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never mention whales.