Basstailbig is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, wise scorpion.

Basstailbig created the Sun five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Basstailbig, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Basstailbig, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Basstailbig's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Basstailbig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

4. Never wear green kilts.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.