Vadsawflan is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, two-faced goat.

Vadsawflan created the planet Venus nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vadsawflan, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vadsawflan, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Vadsawflan's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Vadsawflan's Holy Commandments

1. Put Vadsawflan first in all things.

2. Do not shave your chest.

3. Never talk about birds.

4. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

5. Vadsawflan loves dolphins, so they must be respected.