Honzagdav is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, flying giraffe.

Honzagdav created an up quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Honzagdav, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Honzagdav, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Honzagdav's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Honzagdav's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear fawn rings.

2. Run away if five dogs approach from the west.

3. Never laugh in holy places.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate sharks.

5. Hamsters are not to be trusted.