Capvannurtzoggig is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, bad-tempered dolphin.

Capvannurtzoggig created Asia three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Capvannurtzoggig, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Capvannurtzoggig, it will be mildly annoyed.

Capvannurtzoggig's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Capvannurtzoggig's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate swans.

2. Always make sure there are no turtles in a building before entering it.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate cats.