Moncarsad is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, resourceful snail.

Moncarsad created the Whirlpool Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Moncarsad, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Moncarsad, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Moncarsad's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Moncarsad's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Moncarsad.

2. Retreat if five dogs approach from the west.

3. Never talk about asteroids.

4. Hide if four turtles approach from the north.

5. Always take life seriously.