Hubwapcut is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, intelligent fairy.

Hubwapcut created the planet Earth seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hubwapcut, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Hubwapcut, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Hubwapcut's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Hubwapcut's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Hubwapcut.

2. Never hurt nematodes.

3. Do not shave your neck.

4. Run away from yellow hamsters, for they are unholy.

5. Never feed pineapples to dogs while wearing white stockings.