Ontjonbam is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, uncaring dragon.

Ontjonbam created the planet Mars three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ontjonbam, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Ontjonbam, she will turn you into a goat.

Ontjonbam's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Ontjonbam's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no snakes in a building before entering it.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Do not dye your hair orange.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.