Fenmidbog is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, blissful swan.

Fenmidbog created an up quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fenmidbog, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Fenmidbog, it will remove you from existence.

Fenmidbog's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Fenmidbog's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never write about cell theory.

4. Do not eat melons.

5. You must pray to Fenmidbog eight times a day.