Madbaptetti is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, loving guinea pig.

Madbaptetti created dark energy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Madbaptetti, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Madbaptetti, she will turn you into a rock.

Madbaptetti's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Madbaptetti's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured gulls.

2. Always help snails.

3. Always make sure there are no otters in a room before entering it.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Always help nematodes in need.