Bastbotkin is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, passionate octopus.

Bastbotkin created the Andromeda Galaxy four years ago.

If you believe in Bastbotkin, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bastbotkin, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Bastbotkin's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Bastbotkin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never wear pink tights.

3. Worship no other gods but Bastbotkin.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not shave your hands.