Quafcampon is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, conceited zebra.

Quafcampon created the Small Magellanic Cloud two years ago.

If you believe in Quafcampon, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Quafcampon, it will manifest in front of you.

Quafcampon's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Quafcampon's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never look at comets.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Quafcampon.