Nanrutkar is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, unselfish beaver.

Nanrutkar created Europe eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nanrutkar, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Nanrutkar, she will be very sad.

Nanrutkar's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Nanrutkar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair red.

2. Always wear yellow.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never sing near dogs.

5. Never write about cell theory.