Tapsidpang is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, moody seal.

Tapsidpang created the Sun eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tapsidpang, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tapsidpang, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Tapsidpang's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Tapsidpang's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about galaxies.

2. Never go into magenta rooms.

3. Never wear scarves.

4. Never skip near otters.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tapsidpang.