Cabtomloop is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, flying horse.

Cabtomloop created tapeworms eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cabtomloop, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Cabtomloop, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Cabtomloop's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Cabtomloop's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about amino acids.

2. Do not run in public.

3. Never paint your neck violet.

4. Do not trade with those who eat melons.

5. Do not cook food in pots.