Ciphatcem is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, irritating fly.

Ciphatcem created the planet Jupiter four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ciphatcem, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Ciphatcem, it will laugh at you.

Ciphatcem's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Ciphatcem's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your chest purple.

2. Never talk about ducks.

3. Dogs are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never write about black holes.