Hakarnvin is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, prudent crocodile.

Hakarnvin created the Small Magellanic Cloud four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hakarnvin, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hakarnvin, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Hakarnvin's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Hakarnvin's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if three shrews approach from the west.

2. Always help geese.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.