Rutloopdav is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, kind dugong.

Rutloopdav created viruses seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Rutloopdav, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Rutloopdav, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Rutloopdav's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Rutloopdav's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never talk about eagles.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.