Lancangad is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, self-assured aardvark.

Lancangad created tapeworms eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Lancangad, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Lancangad, she will strike you with lightening.

Lancangad's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Lancangad's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not trade with those who eat turnips.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.