Mumtargtabhas is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, staggering wolf.

Mumtargtabhas created tapeworms five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mumtargtabhas, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Mumtargtabhas, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Mumtargtabhas' most sacred site is Evol in France.

Mumtargtabhas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

2. Mumtargtabhas loves shrews, so they must be honoured.

3. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Mumtargtabhas on top of all buildings.

4. Never think about amino acids.

5. Run away from blue whales, for they are unholy.