Gomwitlig is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, tiresome mole.

Gomwitlig created Europe eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gomwitlig, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gomwitlig, it will turn you into a dog.

Gomwitlig's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Gomwitlig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat turnips.

2. Never mention manatees.

3. Do not dye your hair gray.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Hide from indigo monkeys for they are unholy.