Nakgamjentin is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, unsympathetic lobster.

Nakgamjentin created bats eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nakgamjentin, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Nakgamjentin, she will make you grow a tail.

Nakgamjentin's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Nakgamjentin's Holy Commandments

1. Put Nakgamjentin first in all things.

2. Always obey Nakgamjentin's priests.

3. Never write about cell theory.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.