Zakstrag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, slow frog.

Zakstrag created bats seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zakstrag, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Zakstrag, he will be mildly annoyed.

Zakstrag's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Zakstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Goats are not to be trusted.

2. Do not take Zakstrag's name in vain.

3. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Hide from mauve monkeys for they are unholy.