Faszigyarlyar is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, ruthless snake.

Faszigyarlyar created the planet Venus five billion years ago.

If you believe in Faszigyarlyar, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Faszigyarlyar, it will turn you into a plant.

Faszigyarlyar's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Faszigyarlyar's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from brown otters, for they are unholy.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate birds.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not hurt great tits.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.