Flycadhonsadman is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, capable snail.

Flycadhonsadman created a quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flycadhonsadman, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Flycadhonsadman, he will think nothing of it.

Flycadhonsadman's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Flycadhonsadman's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never mention nematodes.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Flycadhonsadman loves mice, so they must be respected.