Motcitominappigtarjarnfly is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, humorless crab.

Motcitominappigtarjarnfly created the Milkyway seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Motcitominappigtarjarnfly, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Motcitominappigtarjarnfly, she will turn you into a dog.

Motcitominappigtarjarnfly's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Motcitominappigtarjarnfly's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never hurt nematodes.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.