Kincemjapbop is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, impressive otter.

Kincemjapbop created Mount Everest six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kincemjapbop, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Kincemjapbop, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Kincemjapbop's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Kincemjapbop's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine snails approach from the east.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not kill dogs.