Butkapcenvig is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, unthoughtful squirrel.

Butkapcenvig created viruses eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Butkapcenvig, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Butkapcenvig, she will refuse to believe in you.

Butkapcenvig's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Butkapcenvig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never think about nebulae.

3. Put Butkapcenvig first in all things.

4. Always help sick doves.

5. Never write about gravity.