Jampaggon is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, loving alligator.

Jampaggon created a down quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Jampaggon, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Jampaggon, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Jampaggon's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Jampaggon's Holy Commandments

1. Jampaggon loves mice, so they must be honoured.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Badgers are not to be trusted.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.