Govfarkop is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, annoying clam.

Govfarkop created parasitic wasps nine million years ago.

If you believe in Govfarkop, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Govfarkop, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Govfarkop's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Govfarkop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair yellow.

2. Do not speak about spinach.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Always obey Govfarkop's priests.

5. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Govfarkop on top of all buildings.