Yogtifont is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, clever walrus.

Yogtifont created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Yogtifont, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Yogtifont, she will turn you into a snail.

Yogtifont's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Yogtifont's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never go into gray rooms.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not speak about oranges.

5. Do not dye your hair orange.