Hivpasquafapp is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, astonishing pigeon.

Hivpasquafapp created time and space seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hivpasquafapp, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Hivpasquafapp, he will refuse to believe in you.

Hivpasquafapp's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Hivpasquafapp's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hivpasquafapp.

2. Always help sharks.

3. Never laugh in the presence of eagles.

4. Hivpasquafapp loves dogs, so they must be honoured.

5. Erect five copper sculptures of Hivpasquafapp on top of important buildings.