Zimmotflan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, compassionate hydra.

Zimmotflan created the Whirlpool Galaxy two years ago.

If you believe in Zimmotflan, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Zimmotflan, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Zimmotflan's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Zimmotflan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Zimmotflan.

4. Worship no other gods but Zimmotflan.

5. Fast once a month.