Bessnatfagjinmumvonklop is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, ruthless yak.

Bessnatfagjinmumvonklop created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bessnatfagjinmumvonklop, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bessnatfagjinmumvonklop, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Bessnatfagjinmumvonklop's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Bessnatfagjinmumvonklop's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into yellow rooms.

2. Never write about cell theory.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.