Labnurtad is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, idiotic fox.

Labnurtad created tapeworms two million years ago.

If you believe in Labnurtad, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Labnurtad, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Labnurtad's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Labnurtad's Holy Commandments

1. Labnurtad must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never think about moons.

4. Swans are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not drink alcohol.