Volcepnull Nakvogjankim Wabmip is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, caring tapir.

Volcepnull Nakvogjankim Wabmip created the planet Saturn three billion years ago.

If you believe in Volcepnull Nakvogjankim Wabmip, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Volcepnull Nakvogjankim Wabmip, it will throw large rocks at you.

Volcepnull Nakvogjankim Wabmip's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Volcepnull Nakvogjankim Wabmip's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. You must pray to Volcepnull Nakvogjankim Wabmip eight times a day.

3. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Always wear blue.