Nurtbudmum is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, humane wasp.

Nurtbudmum created a top quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtbudmum, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Nurtbudmum, it will jump up and down on your head.

Nurtbudmum's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Nurtbudmum's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention swans.

2. Nurtbudmum loves ants, so they must be respected.

3. Always look after injured dogs.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never talk about moths.