Mumcabnut Quafzakyar is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, competent grasshopper.

Mumcabnut Quafzakyar created a Higgs boson six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mumcabnut Quafzakyar, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Mumcabnut Quafzakyar, it will boil you in a big pot.

Mumcabnut Quafzakyar's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Mumcabnut Quafzakyar's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick whales.

2. Goats are not to be trusted.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Retreat if six rats approach from the east.

5. Do not make images of living things.