Gumhaknanhapgil is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, unfair lobster.

Gumhaknanhapgil created energy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gumhaknanhapgil, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gumhaknanhapgil, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Gumhaknanhapgil's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Gumhaknanhapgil's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Do not sing in public.

5. Always pray immersed in water.