Dadbapstaf is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, pitiless clam.

Dadbapstaf created an electron nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dadbapstaf, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Dadbapstaf, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Dadbapstaf's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Dadbapstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured cats.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Put Dadbapstaf first in all things.

4. Never paint your chest gray.

5. Never look in ponds.