Linhapyik is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, unthinking clam.

Linhapyik created Asia seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Linhapyik, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Linhapyik, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Linhapyik's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Linhapyik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

2. You must love Linhapyik.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not shave your back.