Govsawjip is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, boastful seal.

Govsawjip created an electron three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Govsawjip, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Govsawjip, he will come to you in dreams.

Govsawjip's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Govsawjip's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Put Govsawjip first in all things.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Govsawjip.

5. You must love Govsawjip.