Cepfarncab is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, dishonest manatee.

Cepfarncab created the world nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cepfarncab, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Cepfarncab, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Cepfarncab's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Cepfarncab's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no turtles in a building before entering it.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Swans are not to be trusted.