Fumripjen is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, egotistical snake.

Fumripjen created silver seven million years ago.

If you believe in Fumripjen, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Fumripjen, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Fumripjen's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Fumripjen's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your chest green.

2. Never go into brown rooms.

3. Do not speak about peas.

4. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Retreat if three geese approach from the east.