Gudhambog Lapkadton is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, confident sheep.

Gudhambog Lapkadton created Europe four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gudhambog Lapkadton, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gudhambog Lapkadton, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Gudhambog Lapkadton's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Gudhambog Lapkadton's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Gudhambog Lapkadton.

2. Gudhambog Lapkadton loves bats, so they must be respected.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always help cats.