Tadkembig is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, capable swan.

Tadkembig created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tadkembig, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tadkembig, it will come to you in dreams.

Tadkembig's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Tadkembig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick nematodes.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not bounce in public.

5. Do not speak about peas.